A Big Night

I couldn’t find my car this morning . . .
I had a big night last night.

I woke at five in the morning and all the voices rushed in.
Did I listen?
Was I drunk? I should give up alcohol.
How much money did I spend?
I shouldn’t have said that.
I should’ve done this.
I shouldn’t have interrupted.
I always wear the wrong clothes . . .

I had two drinks. Not even. I didn’t finish the second one. I think I remember everything. Had a lot of fun. I talked a lot and I listened a lot and I think I responded okay. Was it okay that we went halves? Should I pay for everything? I got back to my car three minutes before the parking lot closed. Parking cost me far more than I care to admit!
I didn’t think that through. I should’ve come on a tram . . . but maybe it was okay.
Maybe I was okay.
Maybe I didn’t do anything wrong
and if that was true – maybe I didn’t do anything wrong all those other times either.

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